Brokenhearted

My friend Barry died today. He had melanoma a few years ago and they thought that they had caught it in time. In May they found that it had come back very seriously. He went through surgery, treatment, paralysis and a host of other indignities and challenges since then. In all that time he was realistic and brave and positive. Barry lived a full life of rich experiences, great accomplishments and strong relationships, and as these last months passed it was clear that it was his ties with others that were the most important thing in his life. I have been blessed with dear friends and a wonderful family, and all who knew him would agree that there was no more close or constant friend than Barry. I wish and pray for peace for him. And I pray for comfort for all of us who loved him and who love him still.

Lawn work

Today my nephew John R. (John R. to help distinguish him from another nephew John F. and my brother who is also John F.) came by and mowed the lawn for me. I'm not supposed to do it for a few weeks yet. When he was done we had lunch and between us were able to
work our way through a challenging crossword from the newspaper. It was a fun time. And it's great to be going into the weekend knowing that the lawn has been taken care of!

Flowers - AGAIN!

Barry sent me flowers again. Today UPS brought an assorted bouquet including roses or assorted beautiful colors, some opulent orchids, chrysanthemums, carnations, lilies, and a sunflower. They're dazzling. I tried to arrange them so that at least one of each type shows up in the photo but I think I missed the lilies. I am overwhelmed by this.

Yikes

Well, a landmark day for me. I am sending in a check to join AARP. They've been mailing me for six months and I finally gave in.

A productive and fun visit

My brother Tom came up yesterday to visit and to help out with a few things around the house. He washed and waxed my car - it looks better than it has for a long time - and fixed the broken hinge on the center console between the two front seats. He also brought a chainsaw and cut up some big branches that fell out of the pine tree in my back yard. I might have been willing to let those branches sit there for months in normal circumstances but they were driving me crazy knowing that I wasn't allowed to cut them up myself. It's great to have them gone.

In the evening, Tom, my other brother John and my nephew John Ryan went out to a great Mexican restaurant that we hadn't tried before. The food was great although I think I might still be digesting it this morning!

A bit of a surprise

I was crowing to myself this morning that I am finally almost done with all these health things and I can kick back in on all sorts of things with a vengeance. Then I had a bowl of cereal (store brand Corn Chex equivalent - my favorite) and broke a tooth. Well, I don't know if it's broken, if a filling is falling out, or what but it's sore a bit and I'm afraid to mess with it. I have a dentist appointment for Monday afternoon. If it continues the way it is now, I shouldn't have any troubles until then.

Doesn't it just figure?

Cleared for takeoff - pretty much

I just got back from the appointment with my surgeon. That all went very well - except for the part when he peeled off the bandages with no warning. I guess warning wouldn't have helped. The hernia sites are looking good. They also removed a skin keratosis and the tests from that showed that it was nothing to worry about. I have now traded two odd belly bumps and a small ugly skin patch for three bright red incisions. Neither of those options is particularly attractive. The swelling around the incisions should go away over time. That's something to look forward to.

I'm supposed to be off work through next week while I do stretching and light exercise. I'm allowed to drive but have to be careful that I don't hit anything and cause the seat belt to yank at my incisions. So far in my life I have been pretty good about not hitting things with the car and I'll try to keep that up. I can't do heavy lifting or anything really strenuous for the next eight weeks. After that I should be able to consider myself done with this.

I will be able to do some work related stuff from home which will keep me from getting too far behind and from going insane with boredom.

There was one other interesting piece of info from today. I had been having pains in my right side for some time and had attributed this to recovery from that lung surgery last year. I noticed this week that they had stopped. It turns out that the pains were very likely caused by the hernias instead. They usually hit me at work in the afternoon after having been at a desk for a long time. I'll test the hernia theory when I return to work. I hope they don't come back. They made for some long and difficult afternoons.

Roses from the South

I have received a lot of support during this recent surgical experience. After last year and all the drama that surrounded it, this episode seemed to be a non-event. That has been true to a degree but some things have been a little more difficult than I had expected.

Last year I received a lot of food from my friends, family, and co-workers That was great and it probably accounted for the fact that I actually gained a few pounds in the weeks after the surgery. This time I have certainly received enough food to keep me tooling along, but I have also received surprising flowers. The first to arrive were the orchids that Barry sent. The next was a vase of bellflowers and lilies that came from Audra. A beautiful miniature rose from Sue was next. And today I received a delivery of spectacular multicolored roses from Barry. As all the people who work with me can bear witness, I’m partial to vases of multicolored roses and these are beautiful in yellow, pink, and a coral orange. Barry lives in Jacksonville – far south of here. By far, my favorite Strauss waltz is Roses from the South. I played it while trimming and arranging the roses. Now when I hear it, I will always think of Barry.

I’m including photos of the flowers below, and a video/sound clip of the Roses from the South waltz. They are all so beautiful.

Here is one of the Stargazer lilies from the flowers that Audra sent.
This is the miniature rose from Sue.
Here is the vase of roses that came today from Barry.

And here is a close-up of the roses.



Finally, here's a movie clip that I made this afternoon, combining pictures of the roses with the Roses from the South waltz. The sound and video quality aren't the best but if you haven't heard the waltz before, this is a start.

Off come the bandages

This evening I reached my 7 day mark so following the directions they gave me I peeled off the big plastic adhesive sheet and the gauze bandages that they had put on me. I was expecting to see a few little holes but I really do have incisions. They're still under thin white bandages. It's a little on the revolting side. Trying to think of something positive I guess I can say that they look like they should hurt more than they do.

Fun-filled activities

This morning was very nice. All the windows were open and it was raining steadily as the sun came up. I almost never get to lie in bed and listen to the rain.

I've been sitting around healing. That probably uses up energy but it doesn't seem so. My options seem to fall into certain categories.

Things I want to do but shouldn't:

• wash the car
• climb the tree in the front yard
• call, text, IM or email friends who are supposed to be working
• sweep the front walk
• work in the garden

Things I have learned to avoid:

• leaving the loud, startling alarm clock too far from the bed
• trying to jump out of the chair to get the phone
• tripping over things

Things I should be doing but don't want to do:

• organize photographs
• pay bills and file papers
• read books that are good for me
• read work email and do work projects

Things that are left:

• do online crosswords and sudokus
• watch brainless TV
• sleep
• wake up and watch the cat sleep

Actually, I did sort though a mess of folders full of electronic music files today. That was tedious but I'm glad it's done. I know that the goal of this whole recuperation period is to make sure that I don't pop a stitch so my innards will stay in. I'm hoping to have something else to show for the time, though.

Saturday night into Sunday

Sue came by this morning and brought a pretty miniature rose and an array of food and treats - some to eat now and some to keep in the bank for later. She also brought some DVDs and we sat and watched one about Zion National Park. We had a good time.

Last night was a long boring night. I’m trying to fill today with more activities and fewer naps. I've been able to cut out most of the heavy-duty pain pills. That should help. Last night I was puttering around the house in the middle of the night and noticed this little image in the water marks on a cabinet in the living room. It captured my mood at the moment.


Here’s something on the lighter side. Last year I was staying in Washington for the American Library Association conference. In the parking lot next to the hotel they had decorated some of the concrete-lined drainage channels with colored glass. The colors were shades of blue and green with little bits of amber. A lot of the glass had come loose and washed down to a low spot. I collected some of the glass pieces each time I walked by. Today (over a year later) I sorted through them to remove all the pieces of gravel and other extraneous items and then rinsed the glass pieces in soapy water to clean them up. I don’t really have a brainy idea for what to do with them but they look good in a white dish in the kitchen.

Oink and Zzzzzzzzz

The highlight of today was when Cindy brought by chicken kebobs (which she had de-kebobed) with brownies and candy. I ate way too much of that for dinner.

I don't know what was going on but I ended up sleeping most of the day away. Of course it's 11:30 p.m. now and I'm wide awake. Luckily I have some DVDs and books in stock. When I got cable TV people told me that there was often nothing interesting to watch but I didn't believe it. Turns out they were right.

Saturday morning

There was a beautiful sunrise yesterday and again today. This morning I thought I'd take a walk down to the river. Not long into the trip I could feel a lot of tugging at my various incisions so I decided to give it up for today. It might have been nothing but I didn't want to do any damage. It seemed better to wait a bit longer for this. that'll make for another quiet day at home.

Mary Jo stopped by yesterday afternoon. That was fun. She brought some exceptionally good cherries. She also bought a cool LED light up thing that I had mentioned to her. I spent some time this morning playing with that. If we were sick when we were kids my mother would sometimes let us pick out a toy at the drug store while we waited for a prescription to be filled. It was fun to get a sick toy again yesterday!

A rude awakening

This morning my little cat Sam decided it was breakfast time and jumped up on my stomach to let me know. That was a nasty surprise. I'll be using those ice packs today. They help with swelling and they provide a buffer against those pointy cat feet.

An uneventful day

This day passed without incident. I got a few work projects completed and then dozed for part of the day. Sleep is a good pain control mechanism. I did take a shower which will be good news for any visitors who might stop by. My brother John (whose birthday is today) recommended that I wait until the pain pills had worn off before showering. That was a good idea. It reduced the probability that I would be loopy and fall over and brain myself. The hardest part about showering was taking off my socks. That required a lot of bending and they seemed very far away. It all worked out, though.

I had several phone calls which was nice. Aside from those it has been a very quiet day. My days are often busy so this was a welcome change. We'll see what tomorrow brings. More of the same, I expect.

Ouch

Yesterday's prediction turned out to be true. I'm SORE this morning. It's not terrible, just worse than it was yesterday. The night went well enough thanks again to the snappy folding chair that I got with the gift card from one of my book groups last fall. It was a lifesaver after the surgery in November, too. The people at the surgery center gave me some very handy ice packs. I've been going through ice at a good clip.

All of those years in Catholic school are paying off now. It hurts to bend over. It's much easier to go down on one knee to get something on the floor or out of a lower cabinet.

It looks like this will be a low key day, sitting or lying around with my ice pack on my stomach.

Home again

I'm home. My brother John just brought me here after stopping to pick up a few items and the prescription for pain pills. All seems to have gone well. I feel pretty good although the local anesthesia hasn't worn off yet. I may be singing a different tune later in the evening.

The news seems to be all good.

A busy morning and then off I go

I am having a busy morning. Since I don't have to leave the house until mid-morning I have been puttering around trying to get a few last minute things done. I cut up a watermelon, neatened and swept the back porch, did a load of laundry, vacuumed the house, changed the cat litter, and made chicken soup so far. I think I must be a bit more jumpy about this procedure than I thought. It' not a big deal by any means but I'll be glad when this part is over with and I can take advantage of all this prep work by sitting around and watching brainless judge shows on TV.

Orchids from Barry

This evening when I got home from work I found a box of flowers on my front porch. Barry had sent orchids. I have never received orchids before. They're beautiful. And there were a lot of them. I was able to fill five vases. Here's a photo.

I'm not very good at flower arranging but it was hard to go wrong with these. I'll place them here and there in the house. What a great surprise.

An unexpected development

Well, I was hopping about at work trying to get some important things done when all of a sudden the lights flickered and the building went dark. We should be without power through the end of the work day. If all had gone as expected I would have left here today without too many looming deadlines. Too bad about that. As I heard someone say one time, if you want to prove that God has a sense of humor just tell Him you have plans.

I'll devote some time to neatening my desk and office. Opportunities to do that don't present themselves very often.

Update as of 2:15. Grrr. The power just came back on. I had just come to terms with the fact that I'd have to let some things go undone. Now I'm going to have to gear back up.

Indigo bunting

This morning I had a lot to do so I took a walk instead. I'm supposed to be doing that so it wasn't really goofing off. At one point I saw a bird that was a deep, brilliant blue. I think it must have been an indigo bunting. I've heard of these but had never seen one. It was very beautiful.

When I got home I balanced the checkbook and paid bills before leaving for work. I'll be stepping quickly to get things done there. On my way home I'll stop by the food store for a few last-minute items and then I'll mow the lawn. We're supposed to get rain but with luck it will hold off until after that. I'll putter about the house for the rest of the evening. It's good to have way too many small jobs to do this evening. That'll keep me busy.

Barry goes home today. It's hard to believe that it has been six weeks. He has been on my mind a lot today. I hope all goes well.

Cat prep

One week after my last surgery, Sam the cat developed urinary problems and started peeing on things. Not good timing. My friend Jim was staying with me and he took the cat and me to the emergency vet. He had signed on to watch me but the cat care feature was a surprise to us both. Since then Sam has been on special, pricey food to keep this problem from happening again. I just realized this morning that I'm low on supplies. I'll be dropping by the vet on the way home today to lay in a supply. I'd prefer not to have a repeat of that last post-surgery midnight run.

A moment

I was sitting at my desk at home just now compiling web usage statistics to include in my department monthly report. (My work life is a nonstop run of glamour and excitement such as this.) I happened to look out the window to see a very fine spider web being lifted lightly in the breeze. It's a large web and stretches from one tree to another. It's a misty, quiet morning and I am at an angle to see the web from the edge. It wouldn't be visible at all in brighter light or from a different angle. It looks like the lightest of bed sheets hung out on the line to dry. And as I was typing that last sentence a little hummingbird stopped by the window box outside the same window, just for an instant.

I heard Garrison Keillor reading a poem by Mary Oliver on the radio the other day where she talked about the things she saw on a summer afternoon. In it, she said that her role was to be only a witness to these things. That rang true to me.

Eight months ago

Wow, it's hard to believe that it was eight months ago that I was in the hospital. It seems so long ago now. Today I spent some time getting ready for my next episode. This hernia thing seems so small by comparision that I have had a hard time gearing up for it. This weekend I finally kicked in and got some things done. As Jack Flanders says in the thrilling radio serial, The Fourth Tower of Inverness, I was overreacting at freak out level. It helped though. I'm more prepared now that I had been before. Still lots to do but I'll get it all done - as far as home is concerned. I still have a lot of outstanding things going on at work. I'll be scrambling over the next two days to get them ironed out so that I'll be able to take it easy at least on those first few days.

At my pre-op physical I had to pick up an insurance referral form so that I could set up my next follow-up appointment with the lung surgeon. The hernia surgery will be performed by a different surgeon. Never did I think that I'd be able to use phrases like, "one of my surgeons" or "my other surgeon." That's a little odd.

Goodbye to Yuri

It looks like the heat was too much for Yuri. He had been hanging on for some time although his head was getting steadily smaller. Yesterday I saw that his head was completely deflated. His neck is tied tightly so it doesn’t look like there’s any way to rejuvenate him. It’s goofy but I’m going to miss Yuri. He was an entertaining and constant companion.


He doesn’t look good now so I suppose I’ll have to let him go. I think I held onto some of those purple gloves, though, so I may try to resurrect him. We’ll see. In the meantime, I’ll be remembering him as he was.

Pre-op physical

I went for my pre-op physical yesterday. That went well. I seem to be in good enough shape for this surgery. My doctor is a hoot. My weight is up three pounds from my last visit and I told him that I hoped to be able to get more exercise once this current episode is past. I said that there was a time when I had very low body fat. He just said, "Those days are gone and they're not coming back." I just burst out laughing. He was taking my blood pressure at the time and I got a better reading than I had gotten in a long time. I think the good belly laugh brought down the ol' BP.

I realized yesterday afternoon that I only have three workdays left before I go in. I have a lot to accomplish in those days so I'm really going to have to kick up. Sometimes it's hard to keep up the pace.

In other and more important news, Barry made his home evaluation yesterday from the rehab facility. He hadn't been back to his house in over a month. The visit and evaluation went well. He was so happy when I spoke to him last night.