In Minneapolis

I'm in Minneapolis for a few days for a conference. I've learned a lot of interesting things that I hope will be useful when I get home. I've also had a chance to see a bit of Minneapolis which is a beautiful city. On Wednesday I had a chance to see Minnehaha Falls. It was very beautiful with all the ice surrounding it.
I also had a chance to go to a reception in a tall office building that overlooked the city. Here's a few from there that I took with my phone. That white building is the Foshay Tower. It has an interesting history.

Easter canoe trip

I have spent the Easter weekend on a canoe/kayak trip with family and friends in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. It was a wonderful time. Good river trips, good food, and beautiful, clear weather. It was cold at night, though. The thermometer read 26 degrees this morning. I am taking a moment to post this as we pack to leave.

Maybe because it's Easter, an old Longfellow poem came back to me. It's called "My Cathedral" and has always been a favorite of mine. I memorized it many years ago. I'll include it below - and will fix any errors when I get home.

My Cathedral

Like two cathedral towers these stately pines
Uplift their fretted summits tipped with cones;
The arch beneath them is not built with stones,
Not Art but Nature traced these lovely lines,
And carved this graceful arabesque of vines;
No organ but the wind here sighs and moans,
No sepulchre conceals a martyr's bones.
No marble bishop on his tomb reclines.
Enter! The pavement carpeted with leaves,
Gives back the softened echo of thy tread!
Listen! The choir is singing; All the birds
In leafy galleries beneath the eaves,
Are singing. Listen, ere the sound be fled,
And learn there may be worship without words.

(P.S. Checking the poem, I found I had all the words right but missed some of the punctuation. Not too bad.)

Slapped in the face by God

I have been talking a lot about taking the high philosophical road. At the same time, I have let some relatively small things get to me recently. These issues were very big to some of the people around me and I don't mean to discount that. Nevertheless, I had been making more of them than I should. Today I got news that someone I've known my whole life is facing a health threat that could be far worse than anything I have seen. I will shut up about my personal trivial challenges now and will work to remember two things - how truly lucky I am and how much power I have to lighten the burden of those about me. I believe that messages are sent to us all the time and that we just have to keep our minds and hearts open enough to receive them. Today I feel as if I have been truly slapped in the face by God with one such message. I am sorry for having been so self centered. As the nuns at St. Mark's would have framed it, I will offer up my trials in the hope that it will lighten the burdens of others.

A bad week

I am feeling a little overwhelmed today. This poem occurred to me. It's more dramatic than necessary to describe how I'm feeling but it seems to capture the tone nonetheless. It's "Not Waving But Drowning" by Stevie Smith. Oddly, it was written the same year I was born...

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

Health-wise, everything is going along as well as could be expected. Lots of this hasn't been easy but could have been so much worse that I haven't been focusing on that. In the meantime, I am having to deal with some other things that are using up much more time and energy than they should. I am working today on putting some things into perspective and realizing that what motivates and is important to me is not always the same thing that motivates and is important to everyone else. Still, it's a chance to learn, to grow, and to develop greater understanding. That is always good. Just today, though, I feel like I've had enough opportunities for that over the last year.

Second surgery follow-up

Well, I went in for my second surgery follow-up appointment this afternoon. All that news was good. The incision looked good and the x-rays showed nothing surprising. The pain that I have sometimes been having is to be expected. It comes after exercise and results from stretching the muscles that are still healing. I suspected/hoped that it was something like that but it's good to hear it officially.

I finally remembered to ask if they could tell me how long the tumor had been growing. The doctor told me that it wasn't possible to tell for sure. It could have been as little as five years but could have been as long as twelve years or more. That was interesting to hear. I had read that neuroendocrine tumors grow slowly but I didn't know exactly what that meant. Some people have them growing for a very long time before they're detected. I'm glad my doctor began to suspect mine as early as he did.

Here is a comparison of my x-rays. The one on the left is from last week, the one on the right is from three months ago. Click the image for a much larger version.

X-rays ready to go

Well, today was x-ray day. It took longer than I expected. There were a lot of people in there today. All went well and I have my envelope of films ready for next Friday. I haven't compared them to the November films yet. That should be interesting. Just because I don't know anything about reading x-rays doesn't mean I'm not going to try.

I don't like the x-ray place. It's supremely depressing. All those people with serious problems. I had a big problem, I know, but I feel like an impostor compared to all the people who are facing things that are much worse. I sat next to a woman today while waiting for my films. She was on oxygen, her husband had died five years ago, and now she has breast cancer. She was getting ready for an appointment with her surgeon and it turned out one of her other doctors hadn't returned her x-rays to the film library. Someone was waiting in the car for her to pick them up. She seemed so alone. We talked for quite a while.

When I got home I decided to watch "La Vie en Rose" - the film about the life of Edith Piaf. It was brilliant. Although if I wasn't depressed before that I surely am now. I'm going out with friends tonight and am looking forward to it a lot. I feel very fortunate.

Thinking back

It's funny what can trigger a memory or an image in your mind. On the way in to work today I was waiting at a traffic light when I noticed that the car in front of me had an Outer Banks (North Carolina) license plate frame. It made me think of times when I was down there and got up early to watch the sun rise over the ocean. A little wistful, I suspect, because of the events of the past year and the upcoming doctor appointment. The appointment (see post below) isn't expected to bring any news but that sort of thing always gets a person thinking. I located these photos that I took of the sunrise over the water when I was down at the Outer Banks. They are some of my favorite pictures. Click them for a larger version.

Four months

Wow, it has been four months since I had that surgery. A lot is different since then. Not all of it has to do with health stuff but it seems all to have developed because of that in one way or another. I have set up the next follow-up appointment with the surgeon. That happens next Friday and I go in tomorrow to get the required x-rays. I don't expect much news one way or another to come out of that appointment. I'm hoping not, anyway.

Geese

I took a walk down to the river this morning . It was nearly 60 degrees when I got up. It was very beautiful and quiet. When I got back, a big flock of geese flew high overhead. I remember that from autumn and spring when I was little. Whenever the geese would fly by we would all stop what we were doing and watch and listen to them as they passed. I noticed that the snowdrops are blooming in the yard this morning, too. Spring must be on the way. I'm ready for that.

We're expecting heavy rain this afternoon and evening. I got ready for that by clearing out the gutter along the back porch roof. It always clogs with pine needles and then overflows when it rains.

I made a follow-up appointment with the surgeon yesterday. I was supposed to have done that in February but I let it slip with all else that was going on. That will happen on March 14. I'm interested to hear what he'll have to say. I'm going to ask about the soreness I have after I do anything that's a bit strenuous. It's probably to be expected.

Off to get ready for the day....