Back from dinner

We wandered around Capitol Heights this afternoon and ate at a Mexican restaurant. It was about a block from Ben's Chili Bowl where Obama stopped earlier this month. The line at Ben's was down the street and around the block. It was a hoot.

We decided to make an early evening of it so we wouldn't be too dragged out tomorrow. We're back in the apartment now reviewing our strategy for tomorrow morning. We'll need to walk about four miles from here to the security checkpoint so we want to get an early start.

Down in D.C.

OK, we made it this far. Mary Jo and I are staying overnight with her friend Randy. We gave him a break and decided to go out for a while. Here we are on U Street.

Off to the inauguration

It's hard to believe but I'm going to the inauguration tomorrow. Mary Jo, my friend since high school, has worked with the Democratic National Committee ever since I can remember and was able to get tickets. We'll also be going to the mid-atlantic inaugural ball tomorrow evening. I've got my glad-rags ready to go for that. We'll be leaving this afternoon to stay with a friend of Mary Jo's who is within (long) walking distance from the events. Mary Jo will be located in the seated area closer to the Capitol. I'll be in the standing area on the mall beyond the reflecting pool. I'm VERY glad for this opportunity. If I can pull it off, I'll post photos on Flickr and Facebook when I get back but it's easy to email them in to this blog so if I get any good photos I'll post them here first.

Woo hoo!

A sad loss today

I heard today that my aunt Dolores died. We were nearly out the door on our way to see her when the news came in. Dolores had been very ill for some time and I'm relieved for her that the difficult time has ended. But that's a bit of rationalization on my part. The selfish me wants her back.

I guess, legally, Dolores doesn't count as an offiical aunt. Her husband Steve was the brother of my mother's sister's husband. Confusing, I know, but maybe this will help:
Dolores -married- Steve -brother of- John -married- Kathleen -sister of- Nancy (my mother.)

When my mother and father left the Windber/Johnstown area to live in Baltimore, Steve and Dolores were the only hometown people who were living here too. I remember my mother telling me about the times when my sister died and when my father died. Steve and Dolores were right by her side in an instant. She said that she wouldn't have been able to make it through those times without them.

Dolores has always been a constant in our lives. Steve and Dolores came to our house every Thanksgiving. After both my mother and Steve had died, Dolores came to Thanksgiving dinner at my house. In recent years she hadn't been well enough to make the trip and the holiday was dimmer because of that.

We have made many, many trips up to the Johnstown area over the past few years to visit family. With Dolores gone, I realize that we have lost our last real tie to that area. So sad in many ways.

Steve was always quiet while Dolores was happiest when she was chatting with someone. Although I don't remember it, I evidently once referred to them as Stevendolores and the man who comes with her. My family has never let me forget that. One of many memories that I will hold onto now.

At Thanksgiving we always had whisky sours as a pre-dinner cocktail. Over the years we have added extra cherries in memory of those who have gone. I will say a rosary tonight and then I'll have a whisky sour with an extra cherry for Dolores. She would appreciate both those things.

A mission statement for 2009

I have been thinking a lot about the last two years and all that has happened over that time. Some great moments and some truly terrible ones. At this time last year I had vowed to live my life more fully and deeply than I had done in the past. As this year ends it is obvious to me that I didn't do a very good job of that. I took some time to think about the person I would like to be and listed some words that would describe how that person would live. I came up with eleven of them. I know I will make various task and accomplishment related resolutions as the new year begins and I hope that I'll be able to keep some of them. My one real resolution this year will be to check in regularly - daily if possible - to see how well I have met my character mission statment. It is:

I will remember that my time here is brief and will live with love, kindness, understanding, patience, wisdom, awareness, purpose, strength, faith, gratitude, and joy.

I'll need to practice these. I don't know if I could even list them all correctly from memory yet. I put them in that order for a reason because they all seem to relate to each other. To help me remember them, I made an eleven pointed star diagram. It is far from high quality graphic work but it will do the trick for me. Here it is.

A poem - a prayer

I needed to get something from my car today and decided to go out without a coat since I was parked fairly near to the building. People told me I would freeze but I thought a jaunt into the cold would be bracing. It was a little disappointing when I got out there to find that it is 55 degrees at the moment.

Still, the experience I had anticipated having made me think of a poem - A Prayer by Sara Teasdale. It seems a good sentiment for the end of this year, and is likely to be a little more applicable since the temperatures are supposed to drop significantly over the next few days.

A Prayer

When I am dying, let me know
That I loved the blowing snow
Although it stung like whips;
That I loved all lovely things
And I tried to take their stings
With gay unembittered lips;
That I loved with all my strength,
To my soul's full depth and length,
Careless if my heart must break,
That I sang as children sing
Fitting tunes to everything,
Loving life for its own sake.

Yesterday morning

We are having unusually warm weather and when I got up yesterday morning it was already nearly 60 degrees outside. I decided to go for a walk along the river and had a wonderful time. It was a grey morning with fast moving clouds. Maybe because of the clouds there were very few people out and I saw nobody for quite a long time. The mist on the river created quite a mood. It takes more photographic skill than I have to capture something like that well but here is a photo of the river as I crossed the bridge at the beginning of the route.


I walked for quite a way and on the way back the clouds began to clear. The wind was moving them along quickly and the light show on the trees and the river was beautiful to watch. I climbed out on a rotten log and took this video with my snappy new camera. This doesn't do the moment justice - it was one of those 'you had to be there' experiences - but I'm glad I have this anyway.

When I was nearly back to the car I came upon a heron feeding in the river. This heron was remarkably unimpressed by the presence of people and watched camly as joggers with big dogs trotted by. I was able to take this picture.


The heron and I looked at each other for quite some time. I finally realized that mealtime probably wouldn't continue while I stood there so I moved along.

I hope the memory of this morning stays with me.

Christmas has come and gone

Christmas was a great success. Everyone seemed to have a good time and all the meals came out well. There was less of a focus this year on presents which was refreshing. That removed a good deal of the pressure that seems to surround the holidays.

I'm looking forward to a similar tone through the rest of the holidays - some relaxing, quiet times spent with friends and family. Sounds ideal.

Well, this was odd

A few days ago I set up Google Analytics to track activity on this blog. It doesn't report anything that would identify a particular person who visits but it let's me know if anyone at all happened to stop by.

One of the reports gives a list of sites that link to the blog. It only reports them when someone actually follows the link and views one of my posts. I was surprised to find that my post with poems by Christina Rossetti and Sara Teasdale had recently been linked from an AP English blog from Fremont, California. My post is cited dispassionately but not inappropriately as being "from the POV of a cancer patient." It's odd because after this long year I still feel a bit like a pretender in that role. My disease has been dramatic, of course, but far less scary or threatening than those some others have fought. I am grateful for having been passed over and wish deeply that all of those dear to me could have been as fortunate.

Official one-year surgeon appointment

I had my one year follow-up appointment with the lung surgeon this afternoon. All of that went as well as could be hoped. My lungs sounded good and the x-ray was what they had hoped to see. I go back again in four months now.

I am happy about this but can't be too happy this evening. The waiting room for the surgeon is next to the waiting area for the pediatric oncology department and while I was there several families came in. I can't imagine how hard it must be for them. I won't soon forget this day.

Decorating the tree

I started decorating for Christmas today. I usually leave the tree for last but I started with it this year. Decorating the tree is always a melancholy part of the holiday season. I have an assortment of ornaments that I have collected over the years and they bring back a lot of memories. I realized today that I can recognize most of them from their feel through the tissue paper before I unwrap them. They're like old friends I get to see only once a year. I won't get a chance to finish the tree until tomorrow. When that's done I'll post a picture of it here.

Thanksgiving preparations

Everything seems to be coming together for Thanksgiving. I have taken inventory of all the dishes I have traditionally used - those that came from my mother's house and other things I have collected over the years. Seeing these things is a little like getting together with old friends that I see only once a year. They bring back a flood of happy memories. It will be good to host the dinner again. I couldn't do it last year. All the supplies are in stock aside from a few items I'll pick up tomorrow afternoon.

I'll have to study up on how long to cook the turkey again. THe FDA web site says to allow one pound of turkey per person. I'll have eight people and bought a 23 pound turkey so I should be OK on that front. The stuffing will be great and I have a new, easy and tasty home made cranberry sauce recipe. I still don't know what to do with those yams, though. I'm not good at yams.

Monday, Monday

I'm puttering about the house getting ready for the week. I made it through the weekend successfully not getting anything ready for Thanksgiving so I'll be on the case with that for the next few days. We'll have a smaller than usual group this year - only eight of us - so Thanksgiving dinner should be a snap to prepare. I bought a 23 pound turkey anyway. I figure if you're going to spend all the time preparing a turkey it might as well be a big one..

This week promises to be a frantic one at work. We have several people out for the holiday so everyone who is left will be hopping.

I have a doctor appointment this afternoon. Just a general follow up to the year that has gone before. He'll probably just tell me I'm too tubby and out of shape. I'm not looking forward to that but if that's all the bad news I get then I'll take it.

John, Jennie and I went to see our aunt yesterday up in Johnstown. She seemed just a bit weaker and quieter than she had been the last time I was there. While she said very little she did eat all of the crabcake that we had brought to her. I was glad of that. It's often hard to know what to do to brighten a day. Most of the time just showing up is enough, I think.

Heron return

I saw the heron in the river again this morning. That was reassuring in a way. It had been a long time since I'd seen her and I thought by now she might have left for the winter. Of course, I can't tell if it's a male or a female or if it is even the same heron from one time to another. Still, the herons have been a constant for me over the last year or so and have taken on a significance for me. It was good to see that she is still there.

Flowers by surprise

I got flowers today. They came from my sister and brother-in-law to help me celebrate my big one year mark. They're very beautiful with roses, alstromeria, snapdragons, carnations, lilies and stock. There's also some other flower that I don't recognize. The stock and lilies are very fragrant which is great. Here's a photo...




It's hard to get good lighting on them in my office so imagine them even more beautiful than this picture suggests. Despite all the challenges and problems that the workday presented, this has been a very good day.

Happy news

I have two friends who had been going through some difficult times - one with employment problems and one with a big health scare. Today they both called me to report that all is well. The job issue has been solved and the health scare turned out to be a false call. What happy news. Both of these things had been going on for some time and that sort of looming disaster can be so debilitating. It's good to know that those burdens have been lifted.

In other news, my fancy phone/organizer acted up today and may be dying. I don't quite know what to do ith it. Compared to other issues this is not a major problem. Maybe this is some sort of cosmic trade-off where I have to pay with an annoyance to get some good news. If so, then I definitely got the better end of the deal.

One year

Today is my one year surgery anniversary. It has been a hard year with recovery from the lung surgery, the other much less dramatic hernia surgery, some serious challenges at work, and most of all the crushing loss of my friend Barry. This has all left a profound mark on me. Thinking back, what strikes me is that it was a year of love. I am still overwhelmed by the kindnesses that were showered on me. I have such a wonderful family and the best possible friends. I am also very grateful for the time that I spent with Barry and Rick and am glad to have a job that let me go when I needed to go.

I will hold this year in my mind and heart. I will continue let what I have learned guide my choices and actions. It was a year that let me see clearly what is most important in life. It is my job to show that the lesson has been learned.

Election day

I was up early this morning to get some things done before heading out to the polls. This is an election that I didn't want to miss. I got there at 6:30 (the polls opened at 7:00) and there was already a line. It was worth it. It was easily the most important thing I'll be doing today.

As this election has been approaching I keep thinking of lines from the old hymn, "How Can I Keep from Singing." Among others, Enya recorded it on her Shepherd Moons album. The lines that keeps coming back to me are,

When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

I'm certainly not wishing death knells on anyone, but I would welcome a new direction and a chance to rejoice with friends - both far and near.

Morning walks

I've begun morning walks again. I had fallen off of that after the big 5K trip in September. I went again this morning for the first time since then and did what is now my usual three mile route. Some of the enthusiasm came from my biological clock not having caught up with the time change. Despite one-hour time shift I started and finished the walk in the dark.

It was an interesting morning. It is deer romance season and there were deer everywhere. They don't seem to mind if you don't come up on them too closely. I try to make sufficient noise walking so that I don't take them by surprise. I don't want to be one of those people who is featured in the news as a victim of a freak deer attack. Most of the deer I saw were small. They must be this spring's youngsters.

I also saw a fox and a little rabbit. Luckily for the rabbit I didn't see them both at the same time. There were also lots of things skittering about in the woods along the road. Now that the dry leaves are coming down it's hard for anything to move quietly through the trees.

This year's pumpkins

Halloween has come and gone. My neighbors threw a community party. I made a lot of food and was able to support the decorations with all the assorted Halloween stuff I've collected over the years. I also did some pumpkins again this year. Here's a picture of the 2008 crop.

One of these years I'm going to invest in some of those artificial pumpkins that you can carve since I cut similar faces into them each year. Still, there's something about the real thing that would be hard to re-create.